it's all out there in front of me

Friday, February 26, 2010

Today has been a beautiful day.  The sun is shining (for the second time in as many days), it's 50 brilliant degrees out and it's Friday.  How much better can it get?

I have run 93 miles since 12/28/09 in my half marathon training.  Sheesh, that seems like a lot, doesn't it?  Today's 4-mile run ended up with a sub-11 minute pace.  Hip hip hooray!

We go to Hays, America tomorrow for the weekend for our second-to-last 4th grade boys basketball tournament.  We'll eat out as a team on Saturday night which will be fun for all of us!

It's 3:07pm and I have 2 hours to waste until I get to go home.  Think we can lock the doors and go home early?  That's the thing with being the responsible one in can't really do those things.

Here's to a lovely weekend!

my sweet girl

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Following is a comversation Molly and I had the other night:

Molly: Mom, are we ever going to move?
me: I don't know, not any time soon.  Of course you'll move some day.
Molly: Why?
me: Well, you'll probably go off to school, but maybe you can go to school here in Salina and still live with me...
Molly: well...probably not.  I think I will go away for college
me: ok, well, by then you'll probably be sick of living with me anyhow and will want to move out.
Molly: No mom, I will never be sick of living with you.  I LOVE you.

Isn't she just the sweetest girl ever?

I love you, Molly!

ps, aren't those just the best sweetheart lips you've ever seen?

the speed of time

Monday, February 22, 2010

You know it?
Life is mostly about the passing of time, I guess.
Some days we need time to go faster and others for it to to slow down.

I think of time often:
  • how many minutes left on the treadmill?
  • how long until the kids need to be taken or picked up?
  • when will dinner be ready?
  • how minutes did he play in the games this weekend?
  • time to go home from work?
  • how long until I get there?
  • how many more minutes until bed time?
  • how much longer will this meeting last?
  • what was her fastest time in the swim meet?
  • when will you be home?
  • when can I find time to be creative?
  • can I run faster in the next race?
  • can we have a few minutes alone?
I have been pondering time a lot lately. 
What will I do with the time I have been given? 
How can I make an impact with my time and talents? 
Am I spending enough time with my kids? 
How can I show them how to use their time wisely? 

ps, above is my first experiment with capturing motion with long shutter speeds.  It was great fun and I ca't wait to get out there and do it again!

open letter to mr treadmill

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

My Dearest Mr Treadmill:

I have spent far too much time with you lately.  I know that you have good things to offer:
  • the TV
  • magazines or a book
  • a set pace
  • a "soft" surface
  • the distraction of other folks
However, I so much prefer to be outside.  Tonight, for instance, I shunned you and ran outside; on your enemy the asphalt, and I was in love again.  The air was cold, I saw my breath.  I breathed clean air, not the recycled stuff you have to offer.  I know that the temperature isn't as controlled as when I am with you, but that's ok...sweating through all my clothes and 2 sweat towels isn't my idea of a good look. 

I must thank you, though.   For you have afforded me the luxury to train inside in this, one of the coldest winters in recent history.  You have also made me stronger.  I was able to kick it in on my last half-mile tonight due to you.  Because of your sub 10-minute pace, I am able to run a sub 11-minute pace outside.

You will always be my friend, but I just don't feel the chemistry like I do with the outside.  I will continue to meet you for lunch sometimes, and will speak of your good qualities to my friends.  But I just can't say those th little words you beg for.  I can only say:  Thanks for being there for me when I need you!


as a parent

Friday, February 5, 2010

As I sit and listen to the rumble of the trains
I ponder the decisions I have made

Last night was a hard night
For me and my kid and our family
I had to tell Carson he wasn’t going to play in his basketball tournament this weekend
Because he didn’t get his homework done

He cried
I cried
He sobbed
I wept

We talked about responsibility and consequences
And how much we loved him
I wondered about the words and the punishment
And how much it would affect him 
I am still solemn
I grieve for that little boy
That is now growing older
and has to learn these things the hard way
I am sad for him and for us

Parenting is the hardest thing I have ever done
I have never felt so conflicted
Like such a failure
Or so emotionally spent.

Life is hard