as a parent

Friday, February 5, 2010

As I sit and listen to the rumble of the trains
I ponder the decisions I have made

Last night was a hard night
For me and my kid and our family
I had to tell Carson he wasn’t going to play in his basketball tournament this weekend
Because he didn’t get his homework done

He cried
I cried
He sobbed
I wept

We talked about responsibility and consequences
And how much we loved him
I wondered about the words and the punishment
And how much it would affect him 
I am still solemn
I grieve for that little boy
That is now growing older
and has to learn these things the hard way
I am sad for him and for us

Parenting is the hardest thing I have ever done
I have never felt so conflicted
Like such a failure
Or so emotionally spent.

Life is hard


6 Responses to “as a parent”
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It sucks to be the heavy. You know you're doing the right thing, though.

Sucks being a parent sometimes doesn't it. ((hugs))

The fact that you did it makes you a good parent. That you question it and it hurts you so much makes you a great parent.You'll be fine.

oh man this is like birth control for me. I can't even say no to my dog without feeling sad.

wow great work, fantastic parenting and your boy will be a better man for it. I know how hard it is and how I always want to feel loved by my girls (all grown now well mostly) but we aren't good friends or parents if we don't teach responsibility. Don't worry he still loves you.