it's all out there in front of me

Today has been a beautiful day.  The sun is shining (for the second time in as many days), it's 50 brilliant degrees out and it's Friday.  How much better can it get?

I have run 93 miles since 12/28/09 in my half marathon training.  Sheesh, that seems like a lot, doesn't it?  Today's 4-mile run ended up with a sub-11 minute pace.  Hip hip hooray!

We go to Hays, America tomorrow for the weekend for our second-to-last 4th grade boys basketball tournament.  We'll eat out as a team on Saturday night which will be fun for all of us!

It's 3:07pm and I have 2 hours to waste until I get to go home.  Think we can lock the doors and go home early?  That's the thing with being the responsible one in charge...you can't really do those things.

Here's to a lovely weekend!

my sweet girl

Following is a comversation Molly and I had the other night:

Molly: Mom, are we ever going to move?

me: I don't know, not any time soon.  Of course you'll move some day.

Molly: Why?

me: Well, you'll probably go off to school, but maybe you can go to school here in Salina and still live with me...

Molly: well...probably not.  I think I will go away for college

me: ok, well, by then you'll probably be sick of living with me anyhow and will want to move out.

Molly: No mom, I will never be sick of living with you.  I LOVE you.

Isn't she just the sweetest girl ever?

I love you, Molly!

ps, aren't those just the best sweetheart lips you've ever seen?

the speed of time

Time...

You know it?

Life is mostly about the passing of time, I guess.

Some days we need time to go faster and others for it to to slow down.

I think of time often:

• how many minutes left on the treadmill?
• how long until the kids need to be taken or picked up?
• when will dinner be ready?
• how minutes did he play in the games this weekend?
• time to go home from work?
• how long until I get there?
• how many more minutes until bed time?
• how much longer will this meeting last?
• what was her fastest time in the swim meet?
• when will you be home?
• when can I find time to be creative?
• can I run faster in the next race?
• can we have a few minutes alone?

I have been pondering time a lot lately. 

What will I do with the time I have been given? 

How can I make an impact with my time and talents? 

Am I spending enough time with my kids? 

How can I show them how to use their time wisely? 

ps, above is my first experiment with capturing motion with long shutter speeds.  It was great fun and I ca't wait to get out there and do it again!

open letter to mr treadmill

My Dearest Mr Treadmill:

I have spent far too much time with you lately.  I know that you have good things to offer:

• the TV
• magazines or a book
• a set pace
• a "soft" surface
• the distraction of other folks

However, I so much prefer to be outside.  Tonight, for instance, I shunned you and ran outside; on your enemy the asphalt, and I was in love again.  The air was cold, I saw my breath.  I breathed clean air, not the recycled stuff you have to offer.  I know that the temperature isn't as controlled as when I am with you, but that's ok...sweating through all my clothes and 2 sweat towels isn't my idea of a good look. 

I must thank you, though.   For you have afforded me the luxury to train inside in this, one of the coldest winters in recent history.  You have also made me stronger.  I was able to kick it in on my last half-mile tonight due to you.  Because of your sub 10-minute pace, I am able to run a sub 11-minute pace outside.

You will always be my friend, but I just don't feel the chemistry like I do with the outside.  I will continue to meet you for lunch sometimes, and will speak of your good qualities to my friends.  But I just can't say those th little words you beg for.  I can only say:  Thanks for being there for me when I need you!

Hugs,

Amanda

as a parent

As I sit and listen to the rumble of the trains

I ponder the decisions I have made

Last night was a hard night

For me and my kid and our family

I had to tell Carson he wasn’t going to play in his basketball tournament this weekend

Because he didn’t get his homework done

He cried

I cried

He sobbed

I wept

We talked about responsibility and consequences

And how much we loved him

I wondered about the words and the punishment

And how much it would affect him 

I am still solemn

I grieve for that little boy

That is now growing older

and has to learn these things the hard way

I am sad for him and for us

Parenting is the hardest thing I have ever done

I have never felt so conflicted

Like such a failure

Or so emotionally spent.

Life is hard

lonely

Do you get lonely, even though you are busy?

Do you feel like sometimes time just flies by and you haven't had time to stop to think...

much less tie your shoes?

In the last 30 days, I have been gone 11

Always gone with people...

friends, family and co-workers

but I have been lonely...

I haven't had time to read a book

I just finished catching up on all 564 posts in my reader

I can't imagine what it would be like to do something creative...

Thinks are looking up though:

There is no travel scheduled,

There is snow on the ground,

and the 1/2 marathon training has begun in earnest...

I went to the library this week and checked out 3 books.

I'm looking forward to getting back to myself

and enjoying the end of the winter.

the light of friendship

I am the luckiest person I know.

My friends are the best.

I have great friends from high school that email the stories of their lives back and forth.

I have great college friends that will run in half marathons with me.

I have great Salina friends who will gather on a Thursday night for wine...

and hopes that school will be cancelled in the morning (it wasn't).

Next weekend I go to Colorado with my girls (remember last year?).  We have decided on pedicures and massages.  We've packed our swim suits for the hot tub where we can look at Pike's Peak while we soak.  We have drawn names out of a hat to pair up for making meals.  The wine will flow, and the the good times and laughter won't stop until we fall into bed at night.

My friends are some of the brightest lights in my life...and for that I am so very thankful.

the quiet

Here I sit in the still and quiet of the early morning.  I can hear the heater running,,,how often is it quiet enough in your house to hear the heater running?  Occasionally the dog shifts.  Sometimes I hear a sleepy sigh from one of the kids.

In 20 minutes I will wake the kids, I sill like to get in bed with them in the morning and cuddle a bit and wake them gently if I can.  I can't get enough of their sleepy, warm bodies in the cold mornings.

In 25 minutes the shower will start running.  The dog will scratch to go out, and already the quiet will start to dissolve.

In a half hour, the "mom"s will start.  The water will run for brushing teeth, and filling of water bottles.  The kids will inevitably find something to start bickering about.  We will begin the rushing about to get out the door for school and work.

...and my quiet will be gone...until tomorrow morning.

**photo from the beach in Georgetown, Grand Cayman

so much

There is so much to say and so little time.  So little, that I am in fact writing this as I wait for the train to pass by...then I must go take Molly to swimming, pick Carson up from basketball, and then make some dinner (why must kids eat dinner?) and then find some time to go for a run before the -10 degree weather comes in tonight (along with more snow!).

Quickly though -

• The cruise was great, and the weekend at home doing laundry after wasn't so great.
• I joined the Blog Camp 365 photo a day project.  I am excited and scared all at the same time.  Hopes are that it will improve my photography and processing skills!
• I got the bestest Christmas present of all time:  Old Gringo boots!
• I am working on a photo book from Snapfish of our trip for my mom and dad & brother and sister-in-law.  I'm excited to see how they come out!
• Lots of travel coming up:  Colorado next week for a long weekend with the girls, then GA again for work.  For February...who knows?  I haven't gotten that far yet!
• I started training for the Lincoln 1/2 marathon this weekend.  I am excited and inspired to run again.  I was reminded last night of how much I love the cold, snowy nights.

and this:  This is the second of my 365 photos.  I LOVE how it turned out!

happy happy

Just a quick wish for a very happy new year from here in the middle of the Caribbean.  We are on the Norwegian Dawn, heading back to Miami.  We have had a fabulous, relaxing trip, and I think I might have caught the "cruise" bug.  Our next vacation might just have to be another cruise!

you capture - lines

OK, so I am slow to the party here.  The thing is that I have been sick ALL week.  Plus also we had a giant snow storm, the kids were out of school one day this week and we are breaking records all over the place with the cold night-time temps.  Forgive.

This is the painted brick fence at the front of our courtyard.  I love how linear it is, especially with the mounds of snow from earlier this week.

Join us:

What I did this weekend

Wanna know where I went on Thursday and Friday night?

If you can't tell who those people are from my pathetic phone photos...here is a little help:

Uh, Yeah.  I saw both Darius Rucker and Martina McBride in concert this weekend.

Can you say H.O.T.? 

Both of them...

Darius was here in Salina and it was an amazing concert. 

The Stiefel Theatre is the way to go when you are seeing a concert.  It is small and intimate. 

And by the way, he wants me.

Martina was just a limo ride (with 5 or 9 Blue Moons) away at the new Hartman Arena in Wichita.

It too is a smaller venue.

Both concerts were great.  I forget how fun a concert can really be.  Especially now when we can afford to buy better tickets! wink!

I have 2 new additions to my free-pass-five!

sore

Last night's workout was a killer.

at the YMCA

running 2-3 laps 

in between 1 minute sets of leg and back excercises.

Totals:

3 miles run

7 body parts strengthened

a great stretch at the end.

Thanks, Hope.  You're the BEST trainer ever. 

You kill me and make me stronger at the same time. 

Thanks to you, I WILL have a faster 1/2 marathon time in the spring!

fun

Carson and Molly atop Indian Rock Park on Wednesday

This was the first long weekend in a long time that I enjoyed.

I am usually tired, annoyed and frustrated when they are over

 I usually want to go back to work.

But not this weekend...this weekend was fun.

Thanksgiving was at my in-laws

and we served 57 (yes 57) without a hitch.

We ate too much, drank too much and played too much poker.

Cousins came to sleep over with Carson and Molly,

cousins we don't get to see very often.

I got out and excercised almost every day of the weekend.

We went on a family walk, and I

swam, ran and walked the other days.

Molly's 8th birthday was on Sunday

we had homemade pizzas on the grill

(Molly got to order Pizza Hut for herself...it WAS her birthday afterall)

and had a few friends over for cupcakes.

There weren't a lot of presents, but a lot of joy.

We didn't have many plans, and

just enjoyed each other's company all weekend.

It was good.

what I did this weekend

basketball

sleep

sleep

basketball

If these grey, dreary Sundays don't stop, our new couch will soon have my body imprint in the sleeping position on it.

the light this time of year - you capture

This week's theme for You Capture was sunrise/sunset.  I can't say enough how much I love the light this time of the year in Kansas.  Especially at dusk.  Although I didn't take photos of the sunset itself, the setting sun and the light on these is just perfect!  Enjoy!

Join us!

runner's high part deux

it was dark and 50 degrees

just right for a quick 4 mile run run

the ipod was charged

and the timing and my shoes were just right

for a runner's high night

Now that the clocks have been changed, and the cold and dark and damp comes earlier, I have started my running training again.  This time we're going to Lincoln, NE in the spring for the 1/2 marathon.

 Hip Hip Hooray! 

winter

It snowed yesterday!

Hurrah!

My friend Margy, modeling the snow in Colorado in February. 

Sadly, I didn't have my camera in my car yesterday to capture any of OUR snow,

and the sun is out and it is 50 today, so there is none left to photograph!

what to say

So, what to say when I have committed to writing more often, but have nothing of note to say?

Maybe a list of my weekend activities will do

(lists always have a way of bringing things around, don't you think?):

>had a great and fun shopping trip with my boss and her friends of Friday (Yes, I have a GREAT boss)

>ate at IHOP on Friday night with Carson and my mom

>fell asleep in the vortex on our new couch.  You know, that spot where you instantly fall asleep when you are all bundled up.  That's the vortex.

>slept in on Saturday and then went to Hillsboro to Carson's first basketball tournament of the season (they were 1and 2)

>between games, went to watch our 3rd kid (actually, Hector, our great KWU men's soccer student who we are the host family for) play in the KCAC championship game.  They won!  4-0!  Now they are on to McKenzie, TN on Saturday.  If they win that game they go to California for the championship!  They are all so excited for the possibility as they will get to be home with their families for Thanksgiving if they make it) 

>went for a run in the cold, dark, damp Saturday night.  My FAVORITE time to run.

>slept in on Sunday (and even skipped church) and had a bacon sandwich for breakfast.

>read with the kiddos in my bed for a long while

>went for a walk with Mrs. Jordan in the cold mist.  Loved every minute of it!

>put my sweatpants on and didn't move from the couch for the rest of the day...

ps, do you think the knots on aspen trees look like eyes?  I'm fascinated with them, and take photos of the eyes every time I am around Aspen trees.

harbor

you know that saying about how much more energy it takes to be angry?

how much you have to put into holding a grudge,

how hard it is to keep being mad at someone or something

after a long period of time?

Well, I just decided it is true.

here's to letting go

and to more energy towards

kinder, gentler more beautiful things.