road trip...day 2

We made it!

Day 2 was filled with all variety of things.

We drove from St. Louis into Indiana, and had the requisite photo at the "Welcome to Indiana" sign.

It took longer that I thought it would to get here, but we DID detour a little bit.

We drove around and eyed Holiday World, and decided that we were

MOST DEFINITELY excited to spend a whole day there.

We spotted Lincoln National Park, and then headed to the Leavenworth Inn, our home for the next 3 days. 

We grabbed a bite for lunch and then took the scenic route into Corydon, IN

to take a look at an actual Civil War battlefield site. 

After a little rain shower, the butterflies were out in full force, and I spent some time outside with my camera.

It was a fun day.  We decided that Holiday World was the plan for the day on Wednesday. 

road trip...day 1

The kids and I are on a road trip.

We're heading to Santa Claus, Indiana.

Day one was filled with driving.

Statistics:

Books finished by Carson:  1

Movies Watched by Molly:  2

Books on tape listened to:  1  (it was really short)

Fights: none...

Hours driven:  7

Quit for the night:  Hampton Inn in Belleville, IL

the sounds of silence

I sit in my living room and look out my windows

there is blue sky out the front of my house and grey out the back

I have been sick and alone in my house for 2 days now

the only sounds are my stuffed-up-nose-breathing and

the air conditioner running full speed

Molly is in Houston with her cousins

Carson is at basketball camp until bedtime

Todd has been working hard

Silence is golden, they say

and I think it is true

a few days of physical and mental silence

and recovery can make a person whole again

real life...

Here's another edition of...'yes, this is my real life..."

Tuesday night we had a shrimp boil with some great friends. 

There was wine, laughter, and of course shrimp.

The new potatoes were freshly dug from the garden,

The shrimp had arrived that morning straight from the gulf

It was an absolutely gorgeous June evening

And an absolutely wonderful night...

a random list

Things I am thinking about::

:: summer rain showers

:: the pool in the evening

:: Todd's 40th birthday!

:: various skin rashes on the left side of my body

:: Molly at tennis lessons

:: My mom's birthday!

:: starting to take photos again

:: a fun weekend with the kiddos

:: pizza, pop, and tennis for Caron on Friday night

:: a wonderful shrimp boil with great friends last nite

oh hello there...

testing...testing...is this thing on?

I've been away. 

Have you noticed? 

There have just been too many things. 

I just haven't been able to write. 

Nor have I taken any photos. 

Sad, huh?

I think I might be back now.

Back in my own skin;

Back into a little bit of a routine, now that school is out;

Back into the swing of things as they say.

I have poison ivy again,

more grey hairs,

and a deliciously tanned body.

I am ready for the summer and all of the fun things it brings...

including much more time at the pool,

I've got to get rid of these silly tan lines,

and read more books!

I've missed you and this place.

Thanks for waiting for me.

slippery slope

Does your life sometimes feel like this?  Sliding fast down a slippery slope with curves and turns...Just when you get comfortable with one course, it up and changes on you?

Lately I have been feeling pretty comfortable with my life.  Changes we have made for the better, time spent with family and friends is refreshing and rewarding.  But when I took this photo, all I could think of is how well it symbolizes how I feel much of the time.  I like things to be changing and moving and growing, but when I stop to smell the tulips for a bit, I remember how nice they smell, and I have to remind myself to slow down.  I have to remind myself to enjoy this time...because all too soon, it will change...again!

two lips

the tulips in my life

A letter of thanks to the running gods

1. See above photo.  Thanks for the beautiful lilac blooms, and more thanks for the scent that follows me on my long runs through residential areas.
2. Thanks for introducing me to Bondi Bands.  They've saved my life...fashionably. (If you don't know about them, you hafta get over to the website and get some!)
3. Thanks for Saucony.  I've put on a lot of miles in this most recent pair of Saucony shoes.  No injuries or complaints by my feet to date.  Thanks for that!
4. See below photo.  Thanks for these hooligans.  They try hard not to complain and really cheer me on when I am putting on so many miles at the end of this training.

xo,
Amanda

a host of nothingness

• my past 2 weeks have been mentally and emotionally exhausting; I think I am over the hump now
• I need some creativity in my life; I need some time and a place for creativity in my lkife
• I have the best friends ever; dinner with one, wine with another, lunch with another and dinner with yet another all this week
• I love my kids; ages 8 and 9 are the best.  Really, they are
• family is all you have; it is the ONLY permanent thing in this world

1000 miles from nowhere

I took a little drive the other day, a detour if you will.  I was headed to a small town in a small county for some work, but I saw the sign for the Auto Tour of the Santa Fe Trail that cuts through Marion County, KS.  I stopped and took a folded piece of copy paper which showed a map of the county and the driving tour.  

I had to take dirt roads, blacktop roads and gravel roads. 

I stopped, turned around, and backed up many times. 

But wow. 

Being places where you could see the ruts in the land from the hooves and wagons was really powerful.

Imagining what it was like for those pioneers who came west in search of freedom and a better life.

Thinking about reading the Little House on the Prairie with my kids and having to explain,

really explain what life was like then. 

I enjoyed myself immensely. 

So much so that I was almost there...

I could hear the laughter in the prairie grass.

I could smell the cooking fires.

I could see the river to be crossed all too soon.

It's amazing what there is to see and do here in Kansas.

I'm learning that every day.

eats shoots and leaves

I have not been at home for the past 6 Saturdays.  I have slept in beds in Kansas City, Hays, Grand Island (NE), Kansas City, Tulsa and Oklahoma City in the past 6 weeks.  NOTHING (really...nothing) has been done at my home over the weekend for that long...well, only laundry to get ready for the next trip.

All of this has been done in the name of basketball.  Carson finished up the 4th grade travelling ball season in Grand Island, and then we were off to the Big 12 Tournament and the first and second rounds of the NCAAs.

The only good thing about being gone all those weekends?  I didn't miss our spring.  We still barely have any buds on the trees...the first daffodil bud is just now popping up...and my grass has not yet changed from brown.

Yes, I am looking forward to this weekend.  To waking up in my own bed, and to doing a little spring-ifying around our house!

on strength

A mere 2 weeks ago I had a whole post written in my head about strength.  I was feeling so strong in all these areas of my life. 

• My legs were strong and were carrying me longer and longer distances.
• My lungs were strong and breathing was extremely easy.
• My heart was strong and I was able to be myself and not worry about others.
• My head was strong and I was happy and content with the world around me.

Here I am today and it seems to have all fallen apart.  I have had several terrible runs in a row, and I am wondering if I will even be able to run this race in May.  My breathing is labored, I have a stitch in my side, and my legs are just pounding the pavement (and not in the good way).  My heart is heavy.  Work is stressful, friendships are strained, and decisions feel like they need to be made.  The world around me is not what I thought it was.  But is it ever?

I guess it just goes to show you...things change so very quickly and we need to remember to be content.  To be content with our lives, to not always be looking forward to wht is next, and to take things as they come...  enjoy our lives and ourselves and all of those around us.

it's all out there in front of me

Today has been a beautiful day.  The sun is shining (for the second time in as many days), it's 50 brilliant degrees out and it's Friday.  How much better can it get?

I have run 93 miles since 12/28/09 in my half marathon training.  Sheesh, that seems like a lot, doesn't it?  Today's 4-mile run ended up with a sub-11 minute pace.  Hip hip hooray!

We go to Hays, America tomorrow for the weekend for our second-to-last 4th grade boys basketball tournament.  We'll eat out as a team on Saturday night which will be fun for all of us!

It's 3:07pm and I have 2 hours to waste until I get to go home.  Think we can lock the doors and go home early?  That's the thing with being the responsible one in charge...you can't really do those things.

Here's to a lovely weekend!

my sweet girl

Following is a comversation Molly and I had the other night:

Molly: Mom, are we ever going to move?

me: I don't know, not any time soon.  Of course you'll move some day.

Molly: Why?

me: Well, you'll probably go off to school, but maybe you can go to school here in Salina and still live with me...

Molly: well...probably not.  I think I will go away for college

me: ok, well, by then you'll probably be sick of living with me anyhow and will want to move out.

Molly: No mom, I will never be sick of living with you.  I LOVE you.

Isn't she just the sweetest girl ever?

I love you, Molly!

ps, aren't those just the best sweetheart lips you've ever seen?

the speed of time

Time...

You know it?

Life is mostly about the passing of time, I guess.

Some days we need time to go faster and others for it to to slow down.

I think of time often:

• how many minutes left on the treadmill?
• how long until the kids need to be taken or picked up?
• when will dinner be ready?
• how minutes did he play in the games this weekend?
• time to go home from work?
• how long until I get there?
• how many more minutes until bed time?
• how much longer will this meeting last?
• what was her fastest time in the swim meet?
• when will you be home?
• when can I find time to be creative?
• can I run faster in the next race?
• can we have a few minutes alone?

I have been pondering time a lot lately. 

What will I do with the time I have been given? 

How can I make an impact with my time and talents? 

Am I spending enough time with my kids? 

How can I show them how to use their time wisely? 

ps, above is my first experiment with capturing motion with long shutter speeds.  It was great fun and I ca't wait to get out there and do it again!

open letter to mr treadmill

My Dearest Mr Treadmill:

I have spent far too much time with you lately.  I know that you have good things to offer:

• the TV
• magazines or a book
• a set pace
• a "soft" surface
• the distraction of other folks

However, I so much prefer to be outside.  Tonight, for instance, I shunned you and ran outside; on your enemy the asphalt, and I was in love again.  The air was cold, I saw my breath.  I breathed clean air, not the recycled stuff you have to offer.  I know that the temperature isn't as controlled as when I am with you, but that's ok...sweating through all my clothes and 2 sweat towels isn't my idea of a good look. 

I must thank you, though.   For you have afforded me the luxury to train inside in this, one of the coldest winters in recent history.  You have also made me stronger.  I was able to kick it in on my last half-mile tonight due to you.  Because of your sub 10-minute pace, I am able to run a sub 11-minute pace outside.

You will always be my friend, but I just don't feel the chemistry like I do with the outside.  I will continue to meet you for lunch sometimes, and will speak of your good qualities to my friends.  But I just can't say those th little words you beg for.  I can only say:  Thanks for being there for me when I need you!

Hugs,

Amanda

as a parent

As I sit and listen to the rumble of the trains

I ponder the decisions I have made

Last night was a hard night

For me and my kid and our family

I had to tell Carson he wasn’t going to play in his basketball tournament this weekend

Because he didn’t get his homework done

He cried

I cried

He sobbed

I wept

We talked about responsibility and consequences

And how much we loved him

I wondered about the words and the punishment

And how much it would affect him 

I am still solemn

I grieve for that little boy

That is now growing older

and has to learn these things the hard way

I am sad for him and for us

Parenting is the hardest thing I have ever done

I have never felt so conflicted

Like such a failure

Or so emotionally spent.

Life is hard

lonely

Do you get lonely, even though you are busy?

Do you feel like sometimes time just flies by and you haven't had time to stop to think...

much less tie your shoes?

In the last 30 days, I have been gone 11

Always gone with people...

friends, family and co-workers

but I have been lonely...

I haven't had time to read a book

I just finished catching up on all 564 posts in my reader

I can't imagine what it would be like to do something creative...

Thinks are looking up though:

There is no travel scheduled,

There is snow on the ground,

and the 1/2 marathon training has begun in earnest...

I went to the library this week and checked out 3 books.

I'm looking forward to getting back to myself

and enjoying the end of the winter.

the light of friendship

I am the luckiest person I know.

My friends are the best.

I have great friends from high school that email the stories of their lives back and forth.

I have great college friends that will run in half marathons with me.

I have great Salina friends who will gather on a Thursday night for wine...

and hopes that school will be cancelled in the morning (it wasn't).

Next weekend I go to Colorado with my girls (remember last year?).  We have decided on pedicures and massages.  We've packed our swim suits for the hot tub where we can look at Pike's Peak while we soak.  We have drawn names out of a hat to pair up for making meals.  The wine will flow, and the the good times and laughter won't stop until we fall into bed at night.

My friends are some of the brightest lights in my life...and for that I am so very thankful.