I just have to tell you this: My daughter Molly is about the hardest person to like right now. Don't get me wrong, I love her...I really love her. But right now? I want to pinch her head right off. She is so selfish, self centered, whiny, a complainer, and pretty much no fun at all. Is this what having a daughter is all about? Because if so, I need to rewind this life and go back to nap time on St. Patrick's Day, 2001 and un-conceive her. Yeah, she was a mistake; unplanned pregnancy; already had a 9-month old napping in the other room . I'm WHAT?
Molly is everything a middle child is purported to be. You see, however, she is NOT a middle child. I always wanted 3 kids, but that was not something that was going to fly with Todd. He was dead set on having only 2, and was visibly and physically relieved when the sonogram showed that Molly was going to be a girl (besides that, we didn't agree on any other boy names.) A friend of mine once said that it had to be a 2-person decision. I like that. Having kids has to be a 2-person decision. But right now, I kinda wish we hadn't made that mistake-decision. Not really, but you know what I mean?
But, back to the confession. I threatened Molly at the beginning of this trip that her first warning meant that she was going to come back to the room and go to bed early (which we have done each night but one.) The second warning meant she was going to have a babysitter while we all went to dinner or some other fun thing. The third warning meant that we would figure out how to get her home alone (back to Kansas, that is) on the airplane and her dad would pick her up at the airport and her vacation would be over. I know, I know. Why threaten with something that I would never do? But you don't get it. I would have done it. I so would have done it. If we weren't getting on a plane to go home on Friday anyhow, I would have sent her home today. My parents would have had to put me in a straight jacket after, but it would have happened.
THIS MORNING I TOLD MY KID TO SHUT UP. There it is. I said it. It's out there now. I don't get her. She right now is so frustrating to me, that I had to do something to surprise her into being quiet. It worked for about 15 minutes.
No teacher at school, no friend's mom, no athletic activity coach has ever told me anything but good things about her and her behavior. So, my question is: WHY ME? Why does she feel that she needs to have these fits, whine, and just be awful to me? She gets something in her head about how it should be, and by god, if it doesn't happen that way...watch out! Just last night she had a 20-minute fit in her bed because it didn't look like she wanted it to. Seriously, she did.
So, to God, and my 6 readers out there, and Molly. I am sorry. I am sorry for yelling at you, I am sorry for saying that to you, and I am sorry that for some reason you are going thru this phase.
Please God, help me to get thru this phase. Please give me patience to get thru this phase. Please help me be more loving towards Molly and help her to figure out what we need in this phase. Medication? The Chiropractor? Mommy to retire? What ever it is, reveal it to me. PPPPLLLLEEEEAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEEE???
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8 Responses to “We Interrupt this Vacation for an Important Confession”
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i think it's ok and normal to have these moments with your children where you wish they were in a galaxy far, far away from you. and it's healthy to get it out, that's what blogging is for as far as i'm concerned. i hope writing this helped. if not, just sit on her on the plane home. :-)
Or at least sit her somewhere else on the plane on Friday!
I had this exact conversation with my Mum yesterday, how come my daughter is fun and angelic with everyone else and saves the whiny, clingy, annoyingness for me?
The answer, I fear, is that we're the safe zone. Grrrr. Who knew being the safe zone was so tedious? Maybe the UN feel the same?
Kids. Love to hate 'em.
(and my verification word? A very staid 'chair'. We're definitely back in real word territory here!)
I was so frustrated with my kids over Thanksgiving that I yelled at MY MOM. Who does that? See you in hell, babe.
I dont know you or Molly but is it possible you two are alike, both headstrong women?
If the worst you've done is tell that cute kid to shut up, I think you're doing OK. You're a good mom. Now go & enjoy the rest of your vacation!
Ditto to the above comment. That, and I think I at times saved the "horrible" for my mom when I was small...because she was the only person I felt comfortable being horrible around. Does that make sense, without sounding like I was/am a terrible person?
I spent so much time trying to be a "good kid" and acting angelic around adults...that sometimes I felt dang great to say something sassy or rude. I'm not proud of it now, but at the time it was like a tiny, little release after being SO on my good game.
Hang in there :)
Um, let me guess, she's 7.
I have one of those. Some days are better than others.
I think they grow out of it around 30.
Hang in there.
Been there, done that,,, my kids all had their dark sides and now all the grandchildren show their dark sides from time to time. Lots of time outs in their bedrooms and parents that somehow manage to mustard up "patience of a saint"!
p.s. love your blog!
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