thoughts on christmas

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Christmas has become a hard time for me. I don't know why, really. Well, maybe I do. Over the past few years, Christmas has become a real sticking point in our marriage. Last year, things came to a head, and I can honestly say that it was the worst Christmas on my life. So this year, I have been thinking about that and what I/we can do to change that; starting with identifying the issues.

My issues:

1. Why am I the only one who does all of the "thinking" (and buying) about the gifts? Granted, we don't go overboard and we don't exchange gifts with our siblings, but there are the kids and nieces and nephews. Christmas is really about those kids, and to see them open what Santa brought them (we still believe around here) is a joy. I just want Todd to want to be involved and think of fun, meaningful gifts for the children in our lives. I want him to want to help me wrap and decorate for the fun of it.

2. Am I the only one in the world who loves to get holiday cards? Especially the ones with the photos of the kids and families on them. One of the things I do love to do during the holidays is to design our holiday card. It is the one really creative thing that I can do. I don't use a service, or a printer, I do them all myself. I get compliments on them every year. But when they are done, I would like a little help. This year, they all were printed and addressed before I left for my trip to Georgia. The only instruction was to seal them, stamp them and mail them. Guess what? Wasn't done. I could use a little help here, and I know there were plenty of hours spent sitting on the couch while I was gone...

Does this sound like a Todd tirade? It really isn't, it is more of a vent about Christmas as a whole.

3. Family. Oh, dear family. This is the hardest thing about the holidays. I love going from place to place to see all of the family and friends who are in town and who we haven't seen in the past year. My dear spouse, however, hates that. Christmas to him should be staying at home in your robe all night Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and eating when you feel like it. He wants a fire in the fireplace, a glass of wine in hand, and a long, relaxing day on the couch.

It's hard, you know, this holiday. For all we have done to pare down and make it a meaningful holiday, there are still core issues that we (and every family, dare I say?) all have to deal with at some level. Throw children into the mix, and there are a whole new set of issues that come up.

Do you enjoy the holidays? What are your issues? Any advice?


7 Responses to “thoughts on christmas”
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Girlfriend, I HEAR YA! I am married to a real scrooge/grinch combo. Doesnt lift a finger to help ME get through the stress that is Christmas and then complains about the gifts I got for the kids/ the picture that I picked out for the card/ and the pleasant holiday parties that we are invited to.
We married men. It is this time of year I wish I was in a lesbian relationship!

I have the opposite problem--husband and his parents go WAAAAAAAAAY overboard with gifts. Our kids are overwhelmed and spoiled. Such a tense, fighty time of year for us.

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God, it felt good to get that out.
Thank you,
Anon 6:41

Oh man, I know what you mean.

This is only our 2nd Christmas married, and I have definitely been doing all the work. We don't have any little ones, but I DO have to do all the shopping for his brother, our sister in law, and his parents! Then wrapping, then packing, then shipping, etc. It's not that it's that many gifts, but it just seems like he should help since their HIS relatives!

Luckily I get to drag him to my parents house for a week (he gets along well with my fam) and they are able to get him to participate, but if we were going to be here, you'd better believe he'd be on that couch the whole day!

Thanks to your post, I told my grinch husband off today and IT FELT GOOD! I think he heard me because it left him a little speechless which is rare.

warkemed--to be knocked sideways by the holidays.

man, i do love those verification words. :-)

i think many people feel what you do...and i don't really have any advice other than wait for one set of parents to die and the other to live an ocean away, that way no problems as to who to visit. :-)

can you find a compromise? like spend either christmas eve or christmas day your in bathrobe, eating whenever you feel like it? (i have to admit that big sounds appealing to me.)

but on the card front, kick that boy's butt, sit him down and make him seal those cards!!!

and remember, this too shall pass..

merry, merry christmas!!