Open Letter to Matthew:

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Dear Matthew:

You know how much I love you and am concerned for your health and the health of your unborn baby, so I must tell you of my disappointment.
My friends at People magazine told me about you and Camila hosting the gig at the Viper Room for reggae artist Mishka, I couldn't help but be mortified. Come on, Matthew, we all know how much smoke was at that show. And not only cigarette smoke, but god for the pot smoke. I know, I know, You can't get addicted to pot, but still, that little baby.

Because I am planning on my daughter or son marrying your spawn so that we can finally be together, I need to be sure things are on the up-and-up with Camila's pregnancy. I worry that if she is out with you exposing that child to smoke and loud music, what else is she doing? Eating sushi? Licking the bowl of brownie batter made with raw egg? Having a tuna sandwich each morning for breakfast with all of that mercury and stuff?

And, how about that outfit Camila is wearing? Is that a denim vest? And that bag you are carrying? You don't have to try to smuggle your friends into the concert, you are a star, dude. You can get anyone in.

So, my love, please be a little more careful when you are out. Think of your child, and more importantly, think of me!



ps, Mishka is HOT in this photo! Could you set me up?


2 Responses to “Open Letter to Matthew:”
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HA--- you're funny! :)

The denim vest is shocking.