5 questions

I think I want to play along too...Here are my questions from OptomisticPessimist:



1 Have 10 biological children or none at all? Why?

Of course I would have to choose 10 biological children. I was very lucky in that all 3 of my pregnancies (one was miscarried) were very easy. I have always wanted 3 kids, but Todd put his foot down at 2. As a good friend of mine said "that has to be a 2-person decision." Since we live in our hometown and both sets of our parents live here as well, I think we could handle 10 kids. At least physically!



2 Not be able to use your phone or your e-mail? Why?

Definitely the phone. I really hate the phone. I would rather email everything, both personal and work-related. I have never liked the phone. My son is the same.



3 Is your room messy or clean right now?

I would say it is kind-of-clean. We always make our bed every morning (Todd hates to get into an unmade bed at night) but often the bench at the end of the bed is heaped with clothes to be put away or hand-washed, or just the clothes I took off when I put on my pjs. Our closet doors are always closed, and there is never anything sitting on the floor, so I stand firm: kind-of messy.

4 What's one thing you'd like to do but haven't done yet?

I have always wanted to sky-dive. Don't ask me why, but I have. I doubt that I will even be in the right place at the right time to do that, though. One thing I have always wanted to do, and just did was to run the 1/2 marathon!

5 T.V. show you secretly enjoy? Why?

I really don't watch much tv. Occasionally I will sit with the kids and unwind in front of the tv before bed, but that's about it. That said, I did get a bit addicted to A Shot of Love 2: Tila Tequila. I know. Lame!

If you haven't already played and want to, let me know!

amber waves of grain

Last evening while Todd was golfing and Molly was at a sleep-over, Carson and I braved the heat and went out to the farm to ride on the combine and cut wheat. This time of the year is always such a wonder to me. In the course of about a week, all of the wheat for almost of the entire world's bread is cut all around me. Well, not really, but that's what it feels like. Every town for miles around me is focused on one thing...cutting wheat.

This year I took my camera and really tried to watch thru your eyes. I wanted to capture some things that I would have wanted you to notice. I assume most of you have never been around a wheat harvest. Let me tell you: it is dusty, hot, smelly, dirty, and amazing. When we left the house last night it was 6:30pm and still 100 degrees. When we got home at 9:30, we hadn't even cut one whole field, we had the headlights on the combine, and it was 77 degrees. Although we didn't partake in the evening meal (prepared by the farmer's wives and brought to the field), we have many times before.

We saw a mama deer, who could have been our pet. She just bounced along ahead of the combine wagging her tail and looking back at us. While Carson and I were at the elevator, my dad saw a coyote along the edge of the field waiting for the combine to scare out something for his dinner. We saw small quail, rabbits and mice running out ahead of the combine. We saw dry lightening and a storm system moving into the East. We saw great yields, and beautiful plump seeds of grain. We chatted with Willie, the farmer my dad and brother (and some day Carson) have always worked for. We drank water and sweated. We listened to country music and got dripped on by the "air conditioner" in the combine. We drove thru Falun, KS where the only activity in that town happens at this time of the year.

I took grain home with me. I am going to mill it myself this year and bake bread with my own flour. I will eat it with vegetables out of my own garden, and I will be in heaven. For a moment, time will stand still and we will know what it might have been like all those many years ago when our ancestors did just the same: provided for themselves. I will teach my children what it means to me to be from Kansas, and why it is important that we know and maintain our heritage.

At this moment, all is well in the heartland, and for that I am thankful.

purple coneflower

The first coneflower blooms in my garden. I forget this time of the year I have a whole bunch of pinkish-purplish things blooming. If it wasn't so freakin' hot in the evenings still, we might have a few hummingbirds. I keep looking for them.

in the park

At the park for lunch Monday. It was really, really hot. Can you tell by the photos? Can you also tell that I forgot my camera (dang!) and these were taken with my silly blackberry? You might be able to see that we have a miniature replica of the Statue of Liberty in our park. I don't know why. Next time I am there, and it isn't too hot to get out of my car I am going to read the plate on the base of the statue to find out why...

What the Fuck Wednesday

Moo cards? Business Cards? Calling Cards? Heck no! Try these Meat Business Cards...

pressure

I don't know about you, but sometimes I feel pressure. I feel pressure to make profound, witty, crack-you-up comments on blog posts. I feel pressure to write wonderful, well thought out blog posts. Do you ever feel like that?

I understand that comments are often how other folks "find" your blog. I want people to find me, but not in that way. I really post for my own self. I post to get myself to write things. I post to remind me how good it feels to think something through and write about it. To compose it...like in high school when you had to write that paper for English. I post to have a place for my photographs (which I am enjoying taking very much, thank you.).

I love reading all of your blogs, and I really do read all of your posts, but I don't very often comment. I want to, but I can't think of something to say, other than...cool...I agree...or beautiful! Please forgive me if I don't comment, and if I don't answer your comments. Most days, I just don't have the eloquence I think you deserve.

>>image: buy your commercial pressure cooker here

the smell of cilantro on my hands

Last night I wandered around in the garden. Well, really, I first wandered around in our front courtyard. Then I went to the perennial garden on the west side of the house. From there, I went down the steps, past the potting area and the compost piles and into the backyard. I rested a few minutes in the sky-chair, and watched the finches eating and splashing. After a bit I went thru the gate to the vegetable garden. I inspected the basil, looked over the ripening tomatoes, and rubbed the cilantro. Some years I grow the cilantro only for the glorious smell. I love the smell of cilantro. The beans/peas (I can't remember which I planted) are blooming nicely. The onions need to be thinned, but they are so cute all lined up in a row. The cucumbers (far fewer than I planted last year) are starting to bloom and the spaghetti squash is starting to take over (note to self to get some sort of trellis built this weekend). I looked for any ripe cherries missed by the birds. But then I went back to the cilantro. I love the cilantro.

carrot top

No, NOT the comedian...the vegetable you silly!

I never really liked him anyhow.

What the Fuck Wednesday

Yep, It's carved out of cheese. What do Miss Rodeo, cheese and New Mexico have in common?

Nothing that I can think of!

If you need one, go visit the cheese lady here!

bookshelf love

I rearranged my bookshelf this time according to color. I see it is all the rage, this arranging by color on the spine, rather than by size. I have this tiny little ladder like bookshelf thingy. This is really a shame considering I LOVE my books.

I want to buy this bookshelf; I think it would be perfect in my 1960s style home. Just think of all of those little cubbies filled with different colors!

monday thighs

Yes!

Just a quickie to tell you that today I decided that I am in LOVE with my thighs. Yes, those quads somehow overnight magically turned beautiful. Here's to short shorts all summer long!

No!

>>images from here and here

sunday's conversation

On Sunday, Todd and I went on the local garden tour. Although he didn't really want to come, we had a nice time. Rarely do we have a few hours alone together where we aren't socializing at some party (read: drinking) or trying to scurry around the house and get as many things done before the kids get home.

Sometimes Todd just cracks me up. We started having a conversation about why American car makers have so utterly failed. He immediately spotted 2 cars whose designs are so horrible that to him, they are proof.

First:

"The Chevy Uplander: Why would anyone ever buy that car? It looks just like a platypus."

Second:

"The Ford Probe. Not to be confused with a suppository"

in the park

I have been going to the park lately during lunch time. I love the park. There are many others who are at the park, in their cars, during (what I suppose is) their lunch time too. While I am there, I sit in the car with the windows down. Sometimes I eat lunch. Sometimes I read my HBC book, sometimes I nap a little. Other times I just sit and listen to my current book on CD (right now it is The World According to Garp). Today I decided to take a few shots from where I park in the park each day. I will share them with you too! I think this will be a fun thing to document throughout the year.

ps, I have discovered picnik and this amateur loves it!

chloe dao

I got this cute new sleeve for my laptop a few weeks back. I have been carrying around the tag in my purse since then to remind me to show all of you how cool it is. It was designed by Chloe Dao (who was the Season Two winner of Project Runway). See her cool site here. She's also got a boutique in Houston!

I got my bag at Office Max, but you can also get it here. Now when I travel, I don't have to take my computer all out of its bag, etc. I can just unzip this sleeve and put it thru the xray! Hooray!

2 and 2

Two complaints:
1. I hate to shave my legs. As I have gotten older, I mind it less, but I still don't like it.
2. Physics. My high school physics teacher was not good. He did not instill in me a love for physics. Anything (like golf for example) which has to do with physics, and and knowing about physics in order to understand and/or get better at is too much for me to handle.

Two loves:
1. Diet coke from McDonald's. I swear that their formulation is different. There isn't as much carbonation, which allows for faster filling and less waiting tome for the foam to go down. This I know from all of my McDonald's Diet Coke experience.
2. Summertime evening walks with friends and family. There is something about walking when it is dark. By this I mean strolls, and NOT exercise walks.

waxing or waning...

Tonight after I took the pup for a walk with my friend Margy, I took note of the moon. It had a cool, bright haze around it. I think it is also waxing (or waning, need to google that). The moon will be full in a few nights. A hazy moon perfectly fits my hazy thoughts right now.

>>image from 4OurDoorNuts flickr photostream

on being alone

I am alone most of the day...people come in and out of my office, but I am alone. I am alone in my thoughts, alone in my brain. I am self-sufficient. I can handle most situations. Most of the time it is quiet out there, but it's loud in my brain. I both love and hate being alone.

I am 38 years old and finally feel like "that time" of my life has arrived, You know, that time you are always waiting for? That time you are always rushing to get to? That time that is always so far into the future? My kiddos are 7 and 9. They are pretty self sufficient too. They can make themselves a sandwich if they are hungry for dinner and I haven't gotten to it yet. They can load the dishwasher. They entertain themselves. I am wondering if "that time" is all it was cracked up to be? "That time" seems to be a time where your children are no longer dependent on you are you are now alone.

I seem to be alone a lot. I dream of being alone, nothing to get to, nothing to get done. When I am alone, with nothing to do, I am always looking for the next ting to do. Rarely is there nothing to do. Last night I was alone with Carson for the whole evening. He watched tv and cleaned out the birdbath and made a viking ship out of things from the recycle bin. I, in my aloneness, with nothing to do, mowed the front and back yard, deadheaded the peonies, cut back the oregano (it's already taking over the tarragon's spot), pulled all of the weeds out of the backyard flower garden, filled all of the bird feeders, harvested radishes, and pulled all of the weeds out of 2 of the vegetable beds. That's it. Nothing to do, but hours filled. All I wanted to do was read, but if I was reading I was really alone. Don't get me wrong, I LOVED doing every one of those things. But what I loved better is when my friend and neighbor came down to show me her haircut and we drank wine together.

Some times when I am running I have flashes of words and bits and phrases that I want to write about, but by the time I get home they are gone. I need to figure out a way to harness this energy. This aloneness energy. If I wasn't such a thorough reader, I could read a lot more books when I was alone. If I had a little more brains and medical training, I could maybe figure out how to cure a disease. If I had a little more money, I could travel a lot and alone.

Although I love this bloggy world and the interwebs, they do nothing to help my aloneness. Blog and computer conversation and activity is just not the same as face to face conversation and the real deal. Am I afraid of being alone with myself? Maybe I am afraid of who I have become. I might be trying to figure out who to be next.

Are you ever alone? Who are you becoming? Thanks for listening.

>>my image. bug alone on the hot cocoa rose

a few fairly recent purchases

Kate Landry Flap Clutch Wallet from Dillards (ick.)

Timex Women's Ironman Tirathlon Sport Watch (natch, I AM doing a triathlon in September) from Kohl's. Mine is white.












Sam Edelman Bryce sandal, bought from our bestest, local shoe store, The Spotted Mule.

first harvest

Freshly picked radishes. Aren't they pretty? Tasty too!